The Scheme

June 5, 2016

I feel obligated to educate these women about the scheme, but a lot of girls want what they don’t need. They’d rather flaunt a well known dude that they can’t keep. His eyes are ravenous for some other little shortie. I’m praying to myself like “Lord don’t give me a second hand shortie.” Then I’m reminded that my apple’s landed pretty far from the tree. I’m trying to watch what I reap. I better watch what I reap. And I am living black in America and I am black as I can be, but my people feen about other ethnicities. I’m not going to announce my Caribbean descent like that’s going to harbor me some more prestige. That’s like having a denunciation in hopes to separate you from your people at your own party. Baby girl your parents are from Africa, but it’s not the “pure” African in you they see. You’re just a black nappy headed shortie. You’re born with some soft texture in your roots and now you are better then me? Tell me if that officers gun barrel can decipher between your race and your ethnicity. Your skin screams “Kill me!” Sorry sweetie black is all they see…but black is not all you can be. Black is associated with laziness among this society. So when I’m at work and I work some are taken back like it’s surprising. To be black is to be violent, misinformed, and probably a little irrational or even crazy. I won’t act like my emotions have never invaded me, jaded me, then caused me to act irrationally. However, I am also human as can be. We all are human as can be. So why does color create such a discrepancy? Why do I still have white students that question me? Asking, “Why are you brown skinned?” I respond “I was born that way. I guess you could say it’s heavenly.” And heaven is where I say I want to be, but its hard to ignore my spiritual conditioning. Sometimes I wonder if my beliefs are even my own or do they need repositioning. I’m trying trying to live a life so full someone will remember me. I don’t want you to lose complete thought of me in 56 weeks. That’s what this one girl said she’d do if we stopped talking. Do these girls have any love for me? These broken girls don’t open up to anybody. These girls lack the passion and intensity. Well at least if I do you grimy I know you will return to a place of serenity…although maybe more closed to the guy that trails behind me. All this vanity I speak because not much good is left within me. I was already born in sin and shaped in iniquity. I silently repeat to myself, “It’s all about the timing.” It’s hard to exercise patience when I’m constantly on my own timing. God help we. God help me.