Orlando Blues

February 5, 2018

Throw vile on me. You plus you equals two. I plead guilty. However, I’m returning to the real me because it is real as I can be. They’ve been shooting all this guilt my way trying to trip me. Mix your words with tears; it’s always worked on me. My honesty has me feeling like I’m trying to sabotage me. Enough, I’m going to let my conscience take the lead. I cannot shoulder all the guilt you throw on me. We both share responsibility. The partitioning act infiltrated us externally. You wouldn’t speak up to mommy, and you wouldn’t put a check on Ebony. You just left me in defeat, but after each scene you reassured me and said sorry. Now I’m at war with a family, and the only way we could speak is via counseling. They pay it forward to me. I understand now; the blood tie will always be thicker than a tie to me. You always end up with a livid spirit when I talk about your kin. I can respect the loyalty. I toughed it out because I believed you were the one for me; well that plus my insecurity. I felt like nobody wanted me. Without you I felt like I would forever be on my lonely. Damn I’ve got to watch what I reap! We need pull over for gasoline not to act sexually. Baby G please forgive me. Cause I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve said sorry. Now I’ve got to stroll back to my authenticity. I have got to reclaim my name Bakari. Bakari means promising, but I promise I won’t sell you any dreams. I’ve always had a propensity for intensity. I feel like I have a propensity for girls to resent me. At least if you hate me you are going to hate me and not a figurative being. I cannot afford the fare for this guilt trip, so I’m not going.