Just Some Thoughts…
"While we are encompassed by a world of problems, it is our responsibility to decide how we react." -thepositivendeavour
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For the majority of my life, I have tried to dodge that label. I would play it safe so I wouldn’t get raped by their words of hate…hatred towards me of course. I was pretty skilled at it too. You see, as long as I would stay in line and repress any “bright ideas” of mine I was fine. “Don’t worry about upholding the integrity of being true to yourself. Just try to blend in so you can be like the rest of them.” I tried to make myself believe that anyway. The hell’s a lame though? I guess since I have experienced such abuse I can give you an example.
…it must have been the fall semester of 2011, and I was constantly forgetting that I needed to stay clear of the young ladies. I always found some way to convince myself that simply talking to a girl was alright. So I did exactly that. I started talking to this PYT (pretty young thang) that I had no intention of getting into anything serious with. Everything was going smoothly, and my feelings for this girl eventually began to accumulate. Surprise. We were hanging out one day and decided to take a picture together. I can’t remember if we were seriously talking at this point, but all I know is that, that picture soon became her profile picture on Facebook. I was chilling thinking that everyone would be happy for us, but this was not the case. At the time I was unaware, but one of her boys became kinda hostile towards the new profile pic. No worries though; in reality he was/is a soft-spoken young lad, but behind close doors he wanted to slander me. All of a sudden comments like “Who the hell is this lame ass nigga your taking lovie dovie pictures with” were being made. Ironically, I had never even met this dude, so I began to become suspicious about why he used those words to depict me. Further investigation led me to believe that there may have been potential feelings between him and the girl I was talking to…before I came through and started talking to her.
I take it he may have been a little envious, but was there really a need to call me lame? What does this word that is often thrown around actually mean? In this situation, I assume he didn’t conjure up the word lame based on my ability to successfully talk to a female. So what was the context? I often hear many self-proclaimed “cool people” call others that they feel are lower than them lame. I never did understand why people who were supposedly so confident in themselves go the distance to put others down. Obviously not all people do this, but I have seen it happen enough for it to draw my attention.
From the brief time that I have been in college, I have observed that the people who others consider “cool” are usually just at the fore front of what everyone else is doing. So while many dudes are having sex with multiple girls, “that guy” is not only having sex with multiple girls but is also smashing the cute/seemingly innocent one’s as well. Or while everyone is fashionable in their own way, “that person” tries to take fashion to the next level by putting cuffs in his/her slim fit pants to show off the colorful patterned socks they’re wearing or by having the heaviest rotation of Jay’s. Their excess of girls or shoes is what separates them from everyone else. Now they have the authority put others down because they are cool.
Some of the people I silently admire the most are the people who are the truest to themselves. I can think of one guy who worked at the front desk of the dorm I was staying in last semester. This dude was no where near the coolest guy on campus. In fact, I witnessed instances in which people made inside jokes about him right in front of his face. He was not equipped with the latest fashion. His somewhat awkward walk was not complimented by his tall stance. The pitch of his voice didn’t help him either; however, I feel like he was/is one of the coolest people on campus. And if I mentioned his name I am sure everyone who attends the university I attended would recognize it.
If being lame means being true to yourself although others may find it unacceptably different, then I guess I’m on a mission to get there…
The year must have been 2005. I was a pretty young and naive kid back then, but I could always count on my school mates to keep me abreast on the latest social trends. The internet at my house only provided my siblings and I limited access because at the age of thirteen my eyes were exposed to some “grown-up stuff.” Nonetheless, I was an honest kid with a pretty strong conscience, so I informed my mother of this ‘traumatic’ experience. I imagine our conversation went something like this…
Me: Mother, a couple of minutes ago I experienced a serious breach in the morals and integrity I have clung to all my life! I am quite disturbed at the lewd content the internet seeks to show kids like me! It’s a good thing I’m responsible though.
Mom: Bakari, what are you talking about?
Me: Ummm, well I just saw some “stuff”…umm yea no big deal. However, that is not important. I just came to see if you wanted to dialogue about some of the responsibilities you and I have in protecting my siblings from running into any mischief on the internet!
About three weeks later I was under high scrutiny, and my dad installed a program called “Bsecure Online” on our computer, which blocked about everything worth being on the computer for. It kinda sucked because I thought I would gain some type of trust for being responsible and telling my mom the truth. The worst part of it all, however, was that a social network by the name of “hi5” was gaining a lot of popularity and users at the middle school I attended. It was blocked on my computer though. I was out of the loop for the longest when it came to having a hi5 page, but during that time I was able to make observations about some of the people who used this social network.
The first thing I observed was the immense amount of time these people could spend on hi5. In computer class everyone would have his or her hi5 page minimized for quick access when the teacher was not paying attention. I wanted to be cool and everything by having a hi5 page, but I was unsure if I could manage to sit at a computer for so long staring at another person’s profile and pictures. I also noticed an increase of “boy-crazy” girls at my school, or maybe it just seemed that way because up until that point they never articulated their sexual frustrations as your average 7th grade boy did. After attending a private school with the same class for years, I presume this put the 7 boys in my class at a bad disposition. This may be my excuse for why I didn’t get girls back in the day, but the girls in our class became numb to us. Their eyes grew weary of our bright faces, so we would just have to watch as they sat like fiends lusting over some cute church boy they were friends with on hi5. The irony. The third thing I observed was this site allowed introverted people to have soo much entitlement. My shy mates were able to keep in contact with friends, stay abreast with trending topics, and/or keep up with the daily lives of others without having to physically interact with them. Honestly, I was pretty jealous. Those little rascals!
The were many other things I observed while unable to use this social network, but there was one thing that stuck out to me the most. Hi5 seemed to be prepping my school mates to assume stalker like tendencies. I mean till the point where some of them became seasoned virtual stalkers. The constant access and updates this social network provided was just too much for some of my school mates!
Years later…
Now there are a mass amount of blooming social networks that are specialized in exaggerating much of what I saw years ago! They have revealed themselves to us by the names of Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
To be continued…