Just Some Thoughts…
"While we are encompassed by a world of problems, it is our responsibility to decide how we react." -thepositivendeavour
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A lot of energy has been expended. So now we put our guards up because we must conserve everything that is left of us. Not much. We have become pain stakened. “Lonely or alone?”, those are two totally different statements. Just be patient. It’s just something about this present congregation aka my generation. I’m just saying. In accordance with Adam and Eve, my generation conceived the notion that “we were meant to be”…together. The junction of him and her would last forever. This kind of commitment would need love however. What is love though? Can we despise ourselves yet love another? Can we chastise our being yet love the others? He was broken, but his arms were left wide open to receive her…and she was a dreamer. She dreamed that he would be different from the other guys. And although he let go of his other ties with women, he was still slipping. Cause he was still gripping, another girls behind in his mind, but it’s fine. She was a dime! Then his conscience would bite him, and he would give in and tell his girl that he was mentally sinning. She would respond, “You can cheat on me, but just don’t leave me. You know I’d do anything to appease thee!” He’d say, “Oh for real? Cool, get down on your knees b.” It was tragic, how her moral code just disappeared like magic. The next thing you know he was an addict, and he spent the rest of the relationship trying to cut the habit. He swung at immorality like he was at Lambrick! Stop the madness! He knew there would be no exchange after he got some brain, so why complain? Well, because she told him it was okay. Girl what are you saying? “I can’t risk the loss. Too much energy has been expended.” Oh, so we should go on pretending we’re going to work this out? “What’s the problem dear? Every time it happens now…I get aroused!” Please close your mouth. I’m trying to leave you with something to hold onto. “It’s too late for that. I belong to you.”
Sooner than later the rationale came through, and he sat there thinking what the hell to do. She was unmoved as he presented his case. In a moment, all the good things he had done for her would suddenly be erased from her memory. She silently repeated to herself, “You can cheat on me, but just don’t leave me. You know I’d do anything to appease thee!” He’d have flashbacks of the times he’d say, “Babe pretty please, drop down to your knees. Could you do it just for me?” This conversation was not going on in real life however. She just stood listening to him state his claims. They all registered as excuses, and all she could think was, “How could he do this?” But they came to a consensus. They agreed to part ways for the summer and pray to Allah for the answers and just hope that he would answer. He got back to them. They had no future in store…. A lot of energy had been expended. Now they have their guards up in order to conserve everything that is left of them.
Be careful…cause it’s not much…
Down Girl! Down! (Video)
March 27, 2013
— 2 Comments
Like A Star
March 6, 2013
Disclaimer: Take a deep breathe. Open your mind. Begin to imagine.
Hey. Hi there. Hello. Umm I’m sorry…I just get kind of nervous at the thought of you. Please excuse me. I just need to run to the bathroom to dry my hands real quick. Okay, there we go. My name is Bakari. What’s yours? Ohh that’s a pretty cool name. Are you American? Cool! I was born in the states, but I rep Guyana all day every day. So you must know about that cook up rice and cook curry! Ha ha, that’s too cool. We may have to throw down in the kitchen sometime! So tell me more about yourself. What are some of your aspirations in life? Personal goals? Wow, I was kinda expecting a glittery cliché to-do list. Well either that or a stuttered answer based on your lack of thought about it prior to this conversation. It’s rare to talk to a girl who has solid goals that span beyond the realm of modern academia. What steps are you presently making toward those goals? That’s awesome dude! I can definitely relate to what you’re saying, but I just try to remember that time becomes more and more scarce from here. I definitely agree with what you’re saying though.
I like your style by the way. You seem pretty comfortable in your own skin. Are you anything else besides goal-oriented and academically driven? Ha ha, oh my! I mean I’m just kind of shocked that you care about your health. I know that everyone has some degree of concern for their health, but most people our age reckon their youth makes them invincible. I visit the nursing home far to often to neglect the importance of adopting a healthy lifestyle. Are you interested in community service or things of that nature by any chance? Awesome! Maybe I could introduce you to some of my people at the nursing home one day. This is kinda random, but do you ever party? Seriously? I was just curious. It’s just most of the girls that I’m attracted to or that are attractive in general seem to be into it. I guess that’s a large portion of college girls anyway. A lot of my high school friends are into it, but I guess it wouldn’t seem that weird if I told you I’ve never been to a college party. But yea I agree. And like you said, it is a pretty good outlet for girls who want to let loose sometimes without being called a slut or a hoe.
Ha ha, how do you posses all these great qualities and manage to stay single? You Miss Independent or something? *Stands up to put on a demonstration* Okay, okay enough ha ha. I’ll sit down now. Most of my friends admit they can only manage small doses of me. Ba ha ha ha! You seem to have a unique humor yourself! Too funny! No no no. Let’s not talk about me. We are learning about you today. Okay, okay. Relax. Truth is I am a man of integrity. If I were to acquire a girlfriend that would leave thousands of other women envious. A wickedly sinful practice you know. My conscience would not allow me to take part in such self-absorbed behavior! I am single for the sake of her. And her. And for her with my Instagram picture as her screen saver. Quite frankly I don’t even know the chick. Alright, alright. No more jokes for the moment. To be honest, I am emotionally drained. I would eventually love to have someone to love, but I guess I’m just scared she won’t meet the standard established by the lady before her. I’m not trying to experience any more emotional trauma from discovering things that were triggered by misunderstood motives. I am no longe….
5:00am: Bo lu calazooom! Bo lu calazooom!
40,000 lux of blue light blasts in my face. It’s a part of my therapy. I have my devotion. I’m still confused. “She was too vivid. I couldn’t have been dreaming. I just couldn’t have.” I hop into the shower and begin my hydrotherapy. Scorching hot. Freezing cold. “Aghhh! Burrr!” Repeat. I hop out of the shower and proceed into my bedroom. It’s still dark outside. “So quite and peaceful.”
Buzzz. Text message from….
The hell’s a lame?
February 12, 2013
— 6 Comments
Disclaimer: No one is obligated to read this entry. Therefore I will not hesitate to use personal experiences to illustrate points I am trying to make.
For the majority of my life, I have tried to dodge that label. I would play it safe so I wouldn’t get raped by their words of hate…hatred towards me of course. I was pretty skilled at it too. You see, as long as I would stay in line and repress any “bright ideas” of mine I was fine. “Don’t worry about upholding the integrity of being true to yourself. Just try to blend in so you can be like the rest of them.” I tried to make myself believe that anyway. The hell’s a lame though? I guess since I have experienced such abuse I can give you an example.
…it must have been the fall semester of 2011, and I was constantly forgetting that I needed to stay clear of the young ladies. I always found some way to convince myself that simply talking to a girl was alright. So I did exactly that. I started talking to this PYT (pretty young thang) that I had no intention of getting into anything serious with. Everything was going smoothly, and my feelings for this girl eventually began to accumulate. Surprise. We were hanging out one day and decided to take a picture together. I can’t remember if we were seriously talking at this point, but all I know is that, that picture soon became her profile picture on Facebook. I was chilling thinking that everyone would be happy for us, but this was not the case. At the time I was unaware, but one of her boys became kinda hostile towards the new profile pic. No worries though; in reality he was/is a soft-spoken young lad, but behind close doors he wanted to slander me. All of a sudden comments like “Who the hell is this lame ass nigga your taking lovie dovie pictures with” were being made. Ironically, I had never even met this dude, so I began to become suspicious about why he used those words to depict me. Further investigation led me to believe that there may have been potential feelings between him and the girl I was talking to…before I came through and started talking to her.
I take it he may have been a little envious, but was there really a need to call me lame? What does this word that is often thrown around actually mean? In this situation, I assume he didn’t conjure up the word lame based on my ability to successfully talk to a female. So what was the context? I often hear many self-proclaimed “cool people” call others that they feel are lower than them lame. I never did understand why people who were supposedly so confident in themselves go the distance to put others down. Obviously not all people do this, but I have seen it happen enough for it to draw my attention.
From the brief time that I have been in college, I have observed that the people who others consider “cool” are usually just at the fore front of what everyone else is doing. So while many dudes are having sex with multiple girls, “that guy” is not only having sex with multiple girls but is also smashing the cute/seemingly innocent one’s as well. Or while everyone is fashionable in their own way, “that person” tries to take fashion to the next level by putting cuffs in his/her slim fit pants to show off the colorful patterned socks they’re wearing or by having the heaviest rotation of Jay’s. Their excess of girls or shoes is what separates them from everyone else. Now they have the authority put others down because they are cool.
Some of the people I silently admire the most are the people who are the truest to themselves. I can think of one guy who worked at the front desk of the dorm I was staying in last semester. This dude was no where near the coolest guy on campus. In fact, I witnessed instances in which people made inside jokes about him right in front of his face. He was not equipped with the latest fashion. His somewhat awkward walk was not complimented by his tall stance. The pitch of his voice didn’t help him either; however, I feel like he was/is one of the coolest people on campus. And if I mentioned his name I am sure everyone who attends the university I attended would recognize it.
If being lame means being true to yourself although others may find it unacceptably different, then I guess I’m on a mission to get there…
Primer
February 10, 2013
Disclaimer: Meditate on this concept, and don’t be afraid to giggle. That includes those of you with hardened hearts.
“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” -Bill Cosby
Yes, I am your primer. I mean seriously, what is wrong with you guys? Why has your life become a schedule? Why are you falling into the cycle? Just think about it for a moment. You wake up every morning and hopefully brush your teeth. Swell. Then if you are in a relationship or talking to someone you probably rush to your phone to see if your significant other has sent you a good morning text. That’s cool. And for those of you who are single, there are always the potential Instagram and Facebook notifications. It’s okay; we’re in this together. After your finished with all that, you may have your devotions. I would love to assume it came before you checked the text messages or notifications, but I’m going to take a guess and say it doesn’t. Don’t stone me if I’m wrong. You proceed to do whatever other morning rituals you have, and then you go to class or work. The lecture goes well, and you probably pat yourself on the back for taking good notes. After all, your progressing in life right? Your going to class, to make the grades, to get the degree, to get the job. There’s nothing wrong with any of this, and it would be nonsense if I told you that you were wasting your time….
I was on Facebook a couple weeks back, and I ran across a post one of my FB friends wrote. It basically said, “I don’t like school. I am just here to get a degree so can get a job to support my family.” Although that is not necessarily my attitude towards school, I totally respected what this person was saying. It was better than dropping out and deciding to pursue a rapping career. I have nothing against that either. In fact, I commend those people who are ambitious enough to do that. What if people pursued their personal goals while continuing their education however? As a Biology major, I fully understand how it feels to be consumed by your major. I also understand that “you will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.”-Charles Buxton This becomes even more of a reality the older a person gets. Free time begins to dwindle, responsibilities begin to accumulate, tax jokes will soon be made, physical strength and energy usually lessen, creativity weakens, etc. Yea, the odds are pretty much against you. So why not start now?
There was a time I became so consumed by my major and other responsibilities that I began to neglect my personal goals. I wouldn’t touch my guitar for weeks at a time. I didn’t write any songs or anything at that besides in my journal or in my notes in class. I threw my fitness goals out of the window saying, “I don’t really have time to exercise.” My dream of potentially starting a blog was put to rest. The thought of going abroad to learn Spanish was forgotten. I basically had no innovation. I thought that if I got into medical school and eventually became I physician I would be thoroughly content. I would be able to support my family. I would be able to cater to people’s physical needs. I would be respected in my community. I would essentially be accomplished…or so I thought.
In the past couple of months, I have been forced to reconsider the meaning and purpose of my life. I probably shouldn’t be here 
today, but thank God I am. I had limited the meaning of life in my mind, so when particular things happened I felt as if my world was coming to a close. I soon began to realize that this was not true. I started to realize that I had gifts that needed to be cultivated in order for me to reach others. I would never be able to cultivate any of these gifts in the classroom either. So I began to blog and force myself to play my guitar more via video posts I made on Facebook. It was amazing to start hearing people tell me that my words were able to help them. I was humbled. I am humbled. If I neglected to start, however, this would never have happened. My peers that were encouraged by my blog would have never heard from me.
My dad and I were conversing this morning and he said something to me that still resonates in my head. We were having a conversation about some school work that needed to be done and he said, “Sometimes the hardest thing to do in life is to start.” The truth of his statement struck me, and I was compelled to write this entry for you. So now that you have been primed…
Please start…Please Don’t Shoot Me Down…
January 17, 2013
Disclaimer: Thank you.
6 a.m in the morning: “Good-mor-ning!” “Ghono, where are you?” *Finds sister, squeezes her cheeks* “La ta ta tumm. La tee tee tee.” “Mom I think I heard a mouse when I was home yesterday. In fact, I may be delusional, but I think he even stopped and said whats up to me while scurrying across the kitchen floor.” *Blows on mothers arm in order to make farting noise* “De-mahdd, De-mahdddd, De-mahahahahadddd!” *Proceeds to squeeze little brothers head*
This is how my typical morning starts. As a kid, I never really understood why people cherished sleep so much. I mean off all the mischief a lil rascal could be doing your telling me he should go to sleep? Psssh, no way. I don’t think getting older changed this 
philosophy much. Well, besides the mischief part *senile croak*. Nonetheless, a couple mornings ago I woke up very hyper and excited. Yes, maybe I needed to be “dumbed down” a little, but it was not anything my family wasn’t used to seeing. I went downstairs to the kitchen and immediately began to see who I could rush with all my energy. Target acquired. Ready. Steady. Attack.
I was immediately rebutted with a “stank attitude” from the sibling I attacked (not saying which one). I must admit that I was a bit surprised. A bunch of thoughts started running through my head. “First of all, it’s not like I’m doing something foreign.” “Second of all, it’s me! At the most, you usually just brush me off.” “Third of all…you just can’t do that to me! I know I’m annoying you, but either let me get to you or just go with the flow of things.” I was confused. I didn’t know what to do. When I entered the kitchen I was on cloud 9, and now I was like on cloud 8 an a half. Maybe even 8. I was determined to stay lively; however, so I switched my method from trying to bother this particular sibling to trying to cheer them up. After a couple failed jokes and attempts to tickle them, I started to realize that I was falling from a great height. By the time this sibling was ready to go to school, I was mellowed out. And it didn’t help that I was the only “morning person” in my family either. I found it kinda funny that the people I woke up to that morning had such an impact on my mood. I went from being straight giddy to chill. I can imagine how I would have felt if I had already been relaxed that morning, then was confronted with the dull spirit of my family. Probably pretty sad.
I found that this scenario had a striking connection to the people I surrounded myself with. I’m sure everyone has known a person that is such a joy to be around. I’m sure some know the opposite of this as well. Recently, I decided that if I couldn’t lift anyone up because and of all the complaints I had, then I didn’t need to be around anyone at all. I could mourn, carry on, and complain to myself. I didn’t need anyone’s help with that. So I went ghost. People would come up to me and say, “Bakari, I haven’t seen you in a while” or “Dude where have you been!?” I would then reply, “Ahhh, well you know….”
Then I decided to reappear and start this blog. I didn’t know exactly what I would be blogging about, but I knew I wanted to accomplish three things. Provide people with content that could make them laugh/smile. Provide people with content that was thought-provoking/relevant while interesting. Provide people with some form of encouragement. So if your reading this entry I would just like to say thank you for your support. I hope some of my words or videos have caused you to think, smile, or be encouraged in some way.
Thank you. Be blessed.
Wreaking Havoc
January 14, 2013
Disclaimer: I do not intend to push my religion or beliefs on anyone who reads the entry. There may be lighthearted moments in this entry and exaggerations may be used, but I truly believe this is a pressing matter.
I have the privilege of having a job, and I am grateful for that. Along with having this job, I benefit because I do a lot of shopping at store I work at. I generally enjoy the work I do, but like any job there are a few things that get to me. I came into to work one day feeling very jolly. I would like to think that I am a cheerful person for the most part, but this was just a really good day. I only had to work a four hour shift that day, and two of my favorite managers to work with were scheduled on my shift. I clocked in, then proceeded to empty my bladder before making my way onto the sales floor. The feeling I got while leaving the bathroom was amazing. My steps felt so light as if I were walking on cotton balls. Well maybe that’s a bit much, but I did do my Johnny Depp walk right up to the cash wrap (I would be glad to demonstrate it if ya ask me) and immediately started working on go-backs. I was surprised to see the condition the store was in because usually by the afternoon it was wayyy below “brand standards” aka an utter mess.
After I finished with the go-backs, I began making my way around the store, perfect-folding any disturbed clothing back to brand standard. I felt good knowing that I was nearly finished making one of the women’s sale tables nice and “pertty” as my general manager would say. Any sales associate knows that it is rare for a store to need little recovery after a long day of sales. However, if this happened to be the case, then work would be fairly easy that day. The only thing the sales associate would really need to worry about was good costumer service, and that was no problem for me because I was THE MAN when it came to costumer service. At least I thought I was.
You see, while I was doing my thing I spotted this one lady coming into the store on her cellphone. I didn’t really bother to tell her about our promotions that day due to my prior experiences with trying to talk to ladies while they were in the middle of a captivating phone conversation. So I just glanced at her hoping to make eye contact so I could at least acknowledge her. I probably wasn’t as interesting as the conversation she was holding because she never looked at me. She just made her way into the store, and what she began to do next nearly brought tears to my eyes. In a matter of seconds, she began to tear apart all the hours of recovery me and my fellow sales associates had put into perfect-folding all the clothing. The worst part of it all was that I was the only sales associate on the floor at the time, so I would be responsible for the recovery that needed to be done after this lady left the store. Tears began to roll down my face as I saw multiple perfectly-folded jeans and shirts fly across the store.
In the midst of my distress, however, a thought popped into my head. I constantly did the exact same thing this lady was guilty of. I mean I’m sure I have done this in plenty of other stores, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Just as this lady was destroying what I had patiently worked on, I often go about destroying all the work and effort my Creator has put into me. Whether it is through a bad habit or various other sinful indulgences, I am guilty of destroying much of the work my Creator has done on me. Nonetheless, unlike the sales associates who is reluctant to fix the damage that has been done, God is patiently waiting to take me back and fix me up.
What am I waiting for? What are you waiting for?
All You Need Is Monday…
January 2, 2013
Disclaimer: I am not opposed to any of the practices of bringing in the the New Year. All I wish to do is offer a different perspective. Disclaimers from other entries still apply.
These bloody New Year resolutions! Okay, okay hold on. Before you stop reading this entry just hear me out. I was you last year. I participated in all the rituals of bringing in the New Year. I made the list of things I would accomplish in 2012, and 2011,and 2010, and so on. I confessed all my faults from the previous year and even gave myself little pats on the romp when I began steer off course. I also became very discouraged after realizing that no more than 3 months into the year I had already begun to stray away from the resolutions I made.
I’d feel really bad knowing that I squandered my opportunity to accomplish and do things differently than I did in the previous year. I still indulged in habits I said I would stop, and I did not even begin to conquer all the undertakings I had assigned for myself. Years would go by, and I really didn’t see much changing. So your probably thinking, “Where is he going with all this?” Is he trying to stop me from making my frivolous New Year resolutions!? Well yes, that is exactly what I’m trying to do. No, no definitely joking *insidious laugh*. Stay with me.
It may just be me, but take a minute to reflect on all the resolutions you have made in the past few years. Hats off to the exceptional few who even remember what they are much less stuck with them. Now take another minute to recognize how many of those resolutions you discontinued before the year was half way over. Take this last minute to cry because you failed at every one of these tasks. It’s okay let it out. Here’s a napkin. Now you need to dry your wet eyes and ask yourself a couple questions. What went wrong each year? Why do I find myself making the same New Year resolutions every year? When will I accomplish the resolutions I have made for myself? How can I be more dedicated and consistent?
Brothers and sister I have come to tell you that it’s okay to ask yourself these questions. Just don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m no psychologist, but I will suggest that there is a psychology behind all this. I’m not sure if it’s because I have a job now, but I am just really realizing that New Years is an actual holiday. Some people attend special church services to bring in the New Year. Some people go to the livest parties. Whichever you decided to do I think we can all agree that New Years is a big deal. The former things in your life are passed away. You finally get the chance to have a new start! Right? Not so. By no means am I saying that a new year cannot symbolize a fresh start; however, this is not the only time you can create or your renew resolutions.
All you need is Monday… Happy New Years.
A Charlie Brown Christmas
December 24, 2012
— 2 Comments
Disclaimer: This is my personal experience of Christmas when I was growing up. I love to help people, and I would consider myself a pretty generous person. Exaggerations may be used.
Christmas. Ohh Christmas. It’s the sweetest time of year. Carols are sung everywhere, and sweet baby Jesus often appears. Everyone wants to share. Happiness fills the air, and snow flakes are everywhere. T’was the spirit of Christmas….
Wellll…I can’t say it was exactly like this for me growing up. First off, this was a very stressful season for me. I am not sure about anyone else, but I had very high expectations for the Christmas season. When I was younger, I did not have a steady flow of income like some of my peers did. I don’t necessarily mean a job either. I am talking about this thing Americans call an allowance. Yeaaa…I’m Guyanese. Some of my peers splurged money throughout the year because they had all this allowance money to spend. I mean these kids were straight ballers. So when Christmas came around I was definitely not thinking about giving. In fact, if my parents would have made me give on Christmas I probably would have cried…actually wept. That’s real.
Anyway, this was a stressful season for me because I knew that, besides my birthday, this would be the only time I would really receive gifts. Therefore, my mission for the weeks preceding Christmas was to compile a detailed list of the things I needed to have on that day. I can recall one Christmas a couple of years back when I informed my parents of exactly what I wanted. I did not have enough faith in them to believe they would get me what I asked for, so I took it upon myself make sure that they did. I would give them frequent reminders of my “requirements” for Christmas day. It must have been about 2 days before this particular Christmas one year, and I was anxious. Mind you, this was dangerous for a kid like me because I already had a hyper/anxious disposition. That day I turned the whole house upside down trying to find where my parents stashed my presents. I eventually found most of them in shower in my basement.
Honestly, I kinda spoiled my Christmas that year because as soon as I saw what I got I wanted more. As the years went by, this did not get any better. My Christmas’ were still stressful, but that all changed this year. You see, for the first Christmas in my life I have a job. Yeaa it sucked knowing I would be expected to “give” people gifts this year! I went out this morning feeling depressed about having to spend money on others, but when I bought the first gift I…I actually felt all warm and fuzzy inside. It felt so good. Next thing you know I was cashin out, but it was not for myself this time. I was cashin out for others. I finally understood what it felt like to be in the true spirit of Christmas.
Although you may be compelled to get then give, it’s sometimes better to just give. If you get something in return just count it as a blessing.
Merry Christmas my friends.
A Virtual Solace pt 2: The Exposure
December 20, 2012
Disclaimer: Because this is my blog, I unfortunately have to speak for all those who are too afraid or unwilling to admit what social networks have done to them. Not everything in this article will be applicable to everyone who uses these social networks. EXAGGERATIONS MAY BE USED. Brace yourselves.
I was truly disturbed at some of the symptoms I observed from my fellow school mates who had adopted the practice of using this social network. When I looked around I saw masses of matured stalkers and fiends of every kind. The sight was quite repulsive. In fact, it was just plain nasty. Yuck. How could my mates let themselves be subjected to the transforming power of this social network? Sadly, I remained silent for about a year after all this had been revealed to me. By this time, hi5 had mostly died down, but a new social network was emerging out of the cracks. It called itself Facebook. I had, had enough. I could not bear to watch again as these sick ‘patients’ ran to another social network that would inevitably destroy their lives. They needed help. They needed a diagnosis…they needed me.
It was 2006, and I would soon be starting my last year of middle school. I was a pretty quite kid throughout middle school, but now I was an eighth grader. I knew I had to speak up before it was too late. One particular morning of my eighth grade year I came to school extremely tired. The previous night I had stayed up late working on a proposal to counteract the madness that social networks had inflicted upon my friends. I felt like Moses, and that day I was going to save my people. Little did I know that, that day MY life would change forever. You see, on my quest to do good I ran into a problem. A straight rascal rather. His name was…sikeeee…I won’t say his name. Anyway, he must have sensed my ability to do greatness based on the information he decided to ‘share’ with me that day.
Before I carry on, I just want to take a second to tell any youngsters reading this entry that the content I am about to discuss is not suitable for you! If you continue to read, however, I will take a guess and say you will experience trouble in your latter life. Fair enough? Okay.
Recess break: “Psssst. Ova here bro. Yea, this way.” Umm…yea dude why are you being so secretive? “I gotta show you something.” Okayy, whats up? “I just found a way to get around the school’s internet filter.” When I heard that I probably should have ran away from this guy, but my curiosity got the best of me. After all, not every kid experienced the heavy internet restrictions that I did at the time. Dude those filters were designed by people way older, smarter, and more experienced than us. I’m sure it’s not that easy. ” Yea, yea I know, but I was able to figured it out.” At this point, I had already urinated on myself due to the silent anticipation I was holding in. Crap. Okayy, so I mean what’s the secret then. “It called a…a…it’s called a proxy server. Ninja Cloak to be exact.” Done.
Facebook: From that point on, my life was never the same. For those of you who don’t know what a proxy server is, it’s basically another computer that serves as a hub in which your internet searches can be processed. Internet filters become negligible. I made a Facebook page shortly after he told me about this proxy and have lived in ruins ever since. I was a happy lil fella when I found out I was able to get around the internet filter at my house. I was finally able to experience the same ‘joys’ of social networking that all the other kids had experienced. Over the years, I have watched as the number of my Facebook friends have increased. I have also watched others silently from my computer screen. Most of these people I barely know or seldomly talk to, but they are still my Facebook friends. I have been on random girls pages, perusing through their photos because I thought they were cute or stopping to check on their relationship status. I have watched the hell out of my ex girlfriend’s pages making sure they weren’t “acting up”, and I have done a lot of other things. You have too.
Tumblr: A little more than a year ago my brother introduced me to a site called Tumblr. At the time, I really couldn’t understand why people were so fascinated by a blogging website. I figured out a couple months later when I made one. There were a couple of strange things I noticed when I used my Tumblr however. The main thing was that people were able to post a variety of content with little to no censoring. I did not want to be exposed to all the nudity and obscene content this site had to offer, so I found myself a “Tumblr culture” that suited my fancy. It was the fashion culture. I had always been interested in fashion, but this site seemed to take my interest to the next level. I started feeling as if I had to constantly dress up to live up to the ” fashion culture” this blog presented to me. One day my roommate and I even made confessions to each other about how this social network had influenced us to live our daily lives, but maybe we were insane. Nonetheless, I noticed many other cultures on Tumblr such as the “sex culture”, the “artsy/artisan culture”, and the “stoner culture” . Of all these cultures, however, I discovered the most captivating one. The “love culture”. Minds everywhere were being clouded with the ‘perfect paradigm’ of a relationship based on quotes and visually flawless couples in the background to back them up. The true foundations on which a relationship stood were embellished by appearances. Accordingly, the leniency toward mistakes in this “picture perfect” relationship was severely lessened. Because Tumblr said that when you meet that perfect person they would naturally inspire you and you them. Then you would undoubtedly have love, and If it didn’t work that way then the relationship was a mere lesson.
Instagram: Sometime last year I was looking for a cool app in which I could edit my pictures to put on Tumblr. I found this app called Instagram. One day, when I was about to edit my pictures, I noticed a little box that said I had 5 followers. The rest is history. I can’t tell you how many of my mornings begin like this: wake up, smell my breath, run to the bathroom to brush my teeth, have my devotion, then check my updates on Instagram. I am still perplexed at how pictures with captions can be so intriguing. Anyhow, I don’t consider myself to be an outgoing person, but I do enjoy meeting new people. I can recall a handful of times in which I actually ‘knew’ a person before I meet them. The conversations would go something like this. “Hey, what’s your name.” “Maria,…” No. Stop it. I was on this chicks page like earlier this morning . Like how do I do that? Besides all the creeping that I do/did on Instagram, my self-esteem is/was constantly on the line. Why? Because of the unspoken “followers to following” rule. The amount of followers you have must exceed the amount of people you are following. The larger the gap, the cooler you are. This really became clear to me when some of the people I called my friends refused to follow me back after I followed them! I don’t know how many times I have unfollowed people when I realized they didn’t follow me back. It happened today actually. Hell yea. Cause I’m sitting here thinking, “Dudeee, you have like a 400 to 200 (2:1) ratio of followers to following. I did not follow you because I was amazed at the quality pictures posted. I just wanted another follower. Like help me out man.” But nahh, no one could think about it that much. Their probably just not interested in the stuff I am posting. It’s just me. Oh, shout out all of my people who’s ratio resembles more of a 300 to 600 (1:2) ratio of followers to following. I admire you guys, honestly, but I’m to self-conscious for all that nonsense. And by the way, if I (you) see my old girl take a picture with some random dude…ohh please believe I’m Sherlock. There will be an investigation.
Twitter: I never could bring myself to register for a twitter, but I could remember desperately wanting to know what my ex or ex’s (not saying names) tweeted about me. Well at least I thought they were tweeting about me because I just knew I was that important. I would always hear about all the controversy that started over twitter, but I never was directly affected by anything that went on, on there. Until one day. Most of my good friends know that I like to joke around a lot. I will ramble. I will burp extremely loud. I will even pop that thang if ya need me. But you will never hear me fart. That’s that **** I don’t like! My family members won’t hear me do it. My girlfriends/friends won’t hear me do it. My lizard won’t hear me do it. Got dang I won’t hear me do it. But one day one of my boys caught me off guard. I was in an unconscious state…aka sleeping. I must have let one rip because when I was “observing” people’s twitters one day I happened to run across one of his tweets. “That awkward moment when your friend farts in his sleep.” My gosh, really?
I’m a much different person than I was years ago, but you are too. I may be a stalker, but you are a fiend. Actually your both. Many years ago I had a chance to save many people. I had a chance to save you. Sorry I waited until now.
Just Some Thoughts... 