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I wonder what you see in me…cause sometimes it’s hard for me to believe in me. Imagine having to hear that he said that she said that you could be great. And you sing “Lean on me”, but that type of dependence would probably kill me. Then they’d probably have to “will” me. And I don’t have much to leave, so I’m just going to lean on me while me feeds on the compliments that you just gave me. I’m just conducting introspection on that section of my brain that has me stressing that you’ve moved onto the next thing. Likened to a game where you just next them.
I think back to a time a couple tits removed. I think back to a time minus all the flicks construed; I’m flipping through my archive, “Yea these couple pics will do.” We were all so innocent! Then we all got rid of it. Little babies having precedence, we were only worried about our relevance! But we’re still only focused on our relevance. We pray then put in work and call it heaven-sent. And I need a shower of blessings. Cause I’ve always been worried about being the next best thing to the best thing…or the next best thing to the next thing.
It says pray without ceasing, and I hear the preacher preaching. It’s enlightening. Then I think I’ve found life’s meaning. But I can’t seem to pray without ceasing; I just pray for peace of mind as I see my parents gradually deceasing. And I’m still hearing the preacher preaching. “Amen.” “Hallelujah.” I’m just waiting for it to seep in. Cause it’s funny how someone can give you something to believe in, only to leave you wide-eyed and hopelessly dreaming….
A lot of energy has been expended. So now we put our guards up because we must conserve everything that is left of us. Not much. We have become pain stakened. “Lonely or alone?”, those are two totally different statements. Just be patient. It’s just something about this present congregation aka my generation. I’m just saying. In accordance with Adam and Eve, my generation conceived the notion that “we were meant to be”…together. The junction of him and her would last forever. This kind of commitment would need love however. What is love though? Can we despise ourselves yet love another? Can we chastise our being yet love the others? He was broken, but his arms were left wide open to receive her…and she was a dreamer. She dreamed that he would be different from the other guys. And although he let go of his other ties with women, he was still slipping. Cause he was still gripping, another girls behind in his mind, but it’s fine. She was a dime! Then his conscience would bite him, and he would give in and tell his girl that he was mentally sinning. She would respond, “You can cheat on me, but just don’t leave me. You know I’d do anything to appease thee!” He’d say, “Oh for real? Cool, get down on your knees b.” It was tragic, how her moral code just disappeared like magic. The next thing you know he was an addict, and he spent the rest of the relationship trying to cut the habit. He swung at immorality like he was at Lambrick! Stop the madness! He knew there would be no exchange after he got some brain, so why complain? Well, because she told him it was okay. Girl what are you saying? “I can’t risk the loss. Too much energy has been expended.” Oh, so we should go on pretending we’re going to work this out? “What’s the problem dear? Every time it happens now…I get aroused!” Please close your mouth. I’m trying to leave you with something to hold onto. “It’s too late for that. I belong to you.”
Sooner than later the rationale came through, and he sat there thinking what the hell to do. She was unmoved as he presented his case. In a moment, all the good things he had done for her would suddenly be erased from her memory. She silently repeated to herself, “You can cheat on me, but just don’t leave me. You know I’d do anything to appease thee!” He’d have flashbacks of the times he’d say, “Babe pretty please, drop down to your knees. Could you do it just for me?” This conversation was not going on in real life however. She just stood listening to him state his claims. They all registered as excuses, and all she could think was, “How could he do this?” But they came to a consensus. They agreed to part ways for the summer and pray to Allah for the answers and just hope that he would answer. He got back to them. They had no future in store…. A lot of energy had been expended. Now they have their guards up in order to conserve everything that is left of them.
Be careful…cause it’s not much…
Just Some Thoughts... 