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If I’m going to reap what I sow and I’m constantly getting oral, then I might reap a hoe. That’s a no go. You see I want a wife one day. I want to look at her and then tell my daughters that she has set a high standard to attain. I don’t want her example to be the one to blame when our child’s body has been defamed by a boy who swooned her with false claims. I want a wife that I can lie with on my wedding night and not have to worry whether the passage between her thighs remains tight. I want to smile knowing that neither of us has ever experienced anything like sex. So I’m trying to watch what I sow now. For I fear that if I carelessly sow seeds that could have potentially produced trees, I may in fact end up with weeds. And those weeds would flourish in accordance with the choices I’d continue to make. I quickly realized that if I wanted a queen, then I would have to stay far far away from the party scene. Because I know the girl of my dreams won’t be dancing around talking about #twerkteam.
I understand that the quality of a women/man is relative. You’d probably say, “It’s cool if she only had sex with him.” But that’s only because you are probably thinking about all the other girls you’re currently smashing. Up until this point, nothing for you has really been “lasting”, so the last thing you would need is for your girl to be a virgin. As long as she wasn’t with him and him and him and him (and as the list goes on Lord please forgive her sins), you are cool with that. But I want to take a different path. I want a bad chick. Please excuse my french, but don’t confuse that with a bad bitch. I want a girl whose standards are more than average. I want to reap the kind of girl not just any guy could step to, so as of late, I’ve been trying to sow seeds for you…
A lot of energy has been expended. So now we put our guards up because we must conserve everything that is left of us. Not much. We have become pain stakened. “Lonely or alone?”, those are two totally different statements. Just be patient. It’s just something about this present congregation aka my generation. I’m just saying. In accordance with Adam and Eve, my generation conceived the notion that “we were meant to be”…together. The junction of him and her would last forever. This kind of commitment would need love however. What is love though? Can we despise ourselves yet love another? Can we chastise our being yet love the others? He was broken, but his arms were left wide open to receive her…and she was a dreamer. She dreamed that he would be different from the other guys. And although he let go of his other ties with women, he was still slipping. Cause he was still gripping, another girls behind in his mind, but it’s fine. She was a dime! Then his conscience would bite him, and he would give in and tell his girl that he was mentally sinning. She would respond, “You can cheat on me, but just don’t leave me. You know I’d do anything to appease thee!” He’d say, “Oh for real? Cool, get down on your knees b.” It was tragic, how her moral code just disappeared like magic. The next thing you know he was an addict, and he spent the rest of the relationship trying to cut the habit. He swung at immorality like he was at Lambrick! Stop the madness! He knew there would be no exchange after he got some brain, so why complain? Well, because she told him it was okay. Girl what are you saying? “I can’t risk the loss. Too much energy has been expended.” Oh, so we should go on pretending we’re going to work this out? “What’s the problem dear? Every time it happens now…I get aroused!” Please close your mouth. I’m trying to leave you with something to hold onto. “It’s too late for that. I belong to you.”
Sooner than later the rationale came through, and he sat there thinking what the hell to do. She was unmoved as he presented his case. In a moment, all the good things he had done for her would suddenly be erased from her memory. She silently repeated to herself, “You can cheat on me, but just don’t leave me. You know I’d do anything to appease thee!” He’d have flashbacks of the times he’d say, “Babe pretty please, drop down to your knees. Could you do it just for me?” This conversation was not going on in real life however. She just stood listening to him state his claims. They all registered as excuses, and all she could think was, “How could he do this?” But they came to a consensus. They agreed to part ways for the summer and pray to Allah for the answers and just hope that he would answer. He got back to them. They had no future in store…. A lot of energy had been expended. Now they have their guards up in order to conserve everything that is left of them.
Be careful…cause it’s not much…
Just Some Thoughts... 