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“God has declared your healing even before you were yet healed. He has already declared you victory over every habitual sin even before you experienced the victory.” –Earlene Dotson
When I read this passage I had two immediate emotional responses. At first, I was elated because I have recently experienced victory over an addiction I have been struggling with for years. I was unsure how I was ever going to get over this addiction, and I just figured that my victory would come in my latter years of life when my compulsions eventually faded or when I got married. My second emotional response to this passage was skepticism. It sounded good at first because I recently had an experience in which this passage was proven to be true; however, I couldn’t help but think about all of the other people who were still struggling with an addiction or those individuals who have died from their addiction. Did God neglect or forget to provide victory for these people?
I believe He has done neither of the two, but that’s easy for me to say seeing that I have recently experienced the victory enunciated in the passage above. So where is the help for those drowning in their addiction? Where is their saving grace? What about those who have already died due to an over-indulgence in their addiction? Why didn’t God stretch out His helping hand to them?
I am not God, but I can use what God has done for me as proof that he provides a way out. I had struggled with this addiction for years, and I did not see how I was going to get over it while I was still youthful. I would pray and pray for God to aid me in overcoming my addiction, but it just seemed as if He had turned His ear against me. So I stopped praying. Nothing changed. Finally, over this past summer and last semester I was faced with the most emotional and physical pain I have probably ever had to endure. While I was being tortured by these two forms of pain, I did not see why I was presented with this trial I had no control over. Like most people, I imagined God would reach down and gently take away my desire to continue indulging in this sin I had struggled with for so many years. After all I was/am His child, so He was obligated to be delicate with me. Right? As Christians, we are many times shown the loving and merciful side of God. We are conditioned to believe that all of the mediums God’s uses to save us will be pleasant to our bodies and our souls. When we are faced with a situation that literally shakes the foundations of life that we presently stand on we fold. A lot of the times we crumble under the pressure. Through cognitive distortions such as emotional reasoning, we run to harmful outlets seeking comfort and relief from our problems. We refuse to attribute any process that will seriously challenge us physically, mentally, or emotionally to God. We have become soft and fluffy, expecting our belief in God to disqualify us from pain.
I have found that pain can refine a person however. Pain is what instigated me to form rituals for my days prior to my victory: Wake up. Proceed to my car. Cry for an hour. Put my clothes on and pick out the facade I was going to wear for the day. Go to class. Come home and then cry for about another two to three hours. Attempt to study. Go to bed. Repeat. Pain is what coerced me to take part in harmful outlets in order to gain peace of mind. Pain has left it’s permanent signature all over my body. Pain has taken me to some of the most undesirable places. Pain almost caused me to stop…. This pain has also lead to receive victory over a sin that I have lost thousands of hours of my life to. This pain has set me free from the slavery of striving to satisfy other’s views and opinions of me. This pain has prodded me to share my experience with you, hoping that some of the words I say will potentially have an impact on your life. This pain has helped me to finally find something that I have been searching for my entire life…myself.
God used a very painful experience to set me free. Learn to embrace the trails you are faced with. They could be the tool God is using to refine you into the person you were always meant to be.
Blessings.
Most people have experienced the sting of death to some extent. It have may ranged from the death of a well known church member to the death of a parent/guardian. In both cases, however, the deceased person is no longer living. Their influence on the world and others no longer exists. Their words cease to exist, and people can only hold onto what they once said. Their presence is no longer felt by others, and they are no longer seen.
So I have a funeral to attend…
A couple years ago, one of my immediate family members passed away. This was the only “death” of a person close to my heart that I had experienced at the time. I was unsure how to handle death. I didn’t know how to treat it. The sting of death constantly visited me in the months that followed, yet as time passed, something was revealed to me. Death was painful because it permanently robbed the senses of the family and friends closest to that person. When someone died they couldn’t be seen, touched, smelled, tasted, or heard without the use of an artificial medium. With modern technology, a person can look at pictures of the deceased or even hear and see them via recorded video footage. However, nothing is better than having the ability to experience that loved one in real life.
Please wear all black clothing.
I have learned there is something potentially worst than death. After a while, the absence of a loved one will inevitably have a numbing effect on one’s emotions. The inability to experience that person will soon soften the sting death has caused. Tears of sorrow will eventually be harder to come by due to the lack of reality the dead has to offer. They offer none because they are dead. What if that person were dead but still alive however? How is this possible?
Imagine coming home from school one day, and the mother that loved and cared for you for thirteen years of your life completely stopped having interest in you. Like a switch turned off in her head and all the emotions and concern she once had for you completely vanished. She maintained the same body, but she was a totally different person. Although she could speak to you and you could tell her your name, her love for you was nonexistent. You being to cry and weep because you miss your mom. She stares at you with a blank expression because all this is foreign to her. You beg for her to stop playing, hoping that she will break out in laughter and say, “I’m just joking!” That never happens. Each day you wake up and are visually reminded of your mother. She sounds and smells exactly the same as your mother. Her warm embrace feels how your mother’s would feel, yet you are again reminded that she is not your mother. She will never be. You will never be able to speak to your mother again as long as you live although you see her everyday. For the rest of your life, her figure will taunt you. But you know it’s not her…and you will just have to try to figure out some way to live in peace knowing that. I’d rather hold onto the memories my mother left with me before she entered the grave.
Excuse me though. I have arrived at the funeral, and your prayers will gladly be accepted.
Just Some Thoughts... 