Just Some Thoughts…

"While we are encompassed by a world of problems, it is our responsibility to decide how we react." -thepositivendeavour

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The hell’s a lame?

February 12, 2013 — 6 Comments

Disclaimer: No one is obligated to read this entry. Therefore I will not hesitate to use personal experiences to illustrate points I am trying to make.

For the majority of my life, I have tried to dodge that label. I would play it safe so I wouldn’t get raped by their words of hate…hatred towards me of course. I was pretty skilled at it too. You see, as long as I would stay in line and repress any “bright ideas” of mine I was fine. “Don’t worry about upholding the integrity of being true to yourself. Just try to blend in so you can be like the rest of them.” I tried to make myself believe that anyway. The hell’s a lame though? I guess since I have experienced such abuse I can give you an example.

…it must have been the fall semester of 2011, and I was constantly forgetting that I needed to stay clear of the young ladies. I always found some way to convince myself that simply talking to a girl was alright. So I did exactly that. I started talking to this PYT (pretty young thang) that I had no intention of getting into anything serious with. Everything was going smoothly, and my feelings for this girl eventually began to accumulate. Surprise. We were hanging out one day and decided to take a picture together. I can’t remember if we were seriously talking at this point, but all I know is that, that picture soon became her profile picture on Facebook. I was chilling thinking that everyone would be happy for us, but this was not the case. At the time I was unaware, but one of her boys became kinda hostile towards the new profile pic. No worries though; in reality he was/is a soft-spoken young lad, but behind close doors he wanted to slander me. All of a sudden comments like “Who the hell is this lame ass nigga your taking lovie dovie pictures with” were being made. Ironically, I had never even met this dude, so I began to become suspicious about why he used those words to depict me. Further investigation led me to believe that there may have been potential feelings between him and the girl I was talking to…before I came through and started talking to her.

I take it he may have been a little envious, but was there really a need to call me lame? What does this word that is often thrown around actually mean? In this situation, I assume he didn’t conjure up the word lame based on my ability to successfully talk to a female. So what was the context? I often hear many self-proclaimed “cool people” call others that they feel are lower than them lame. I never did understand why people who were supposedly so confident in themselves go the distance to put others down. Obviously not all people do this, but I have seen it happen enough for it to draw my attention.

From the brief time that I have been in college, I have observed that the people who others consider “cool” are usually just at the fore front of what everyone else is doing. So while many dudes are having sex with multiple girls, “that guy” is not only having sex with multiple girls but is also smashing the cute/seemingly innocent one’s as well. Or while everyone is fashionable in their own way, “that person” tries to take fashion to the next level by putting cuffs in his/her slim fit pants to show off the colorful patterned socks they’re wearing or by having the heaviest rotation of Jay’s. Their excess of girls or shoes is what separates them from everyone else. Now they have the authority put others down because they are cool.

Some of the people I silently admire the most are the people who are the truest to themselves. I can think of one guy who worked at the front desk of the dorm I was staying in last semester. This dude was no where near the coolest guy on campus. In fact, I witnessed instances in which people made inside jokes about him right in front of his face. He was not equipped with the latest fashion. His somewhat awkward walk was not complimented by his tall stance. The pitch of his voice didn’t help him either; however, I feel like he was/is one of the coolest people on campus. And if I mentioned his name I am sure everyone who attends the university I attended would recognize it.

If being lame means being true to yourself although others may find it unacceptably different, then I guess I’m on a mission to get there…

I Have A Funeral To Attend…

January 13, 2013

Disclaimer: These are my thoughts and opinions. Figurative language is used.

Most people have experienced the sting of death to some extent. It have may ranged from the death of a well known church member to the death of a parent/guardian. In both cases, however, the deceased person is no longer living. Their influence on the world and others no longer exists. Their words cease to exist, and people can only hold onto what they once said. Their presence is no longer felt by others, and they are no longer seen.

So I have a funeral to attend…

A couple years ago, one of my immediate family members passed away. This was the only “death” of a person close to my heart that I had experienced at the time. I was unsure how to handle death. I didn’t know how to treat it. The sting of death constantly visited me in the months that followed, yet as time passed, something was revealed to me. Death was painful because it permanently robbed the senses of the family and friends closest to that person. When someone died they couldn’t be seen, touched, smelled, tasted, or heard without the use of an artificial medium. With modern technology, a person can look at pictures of the deceased or even hear and see them via recorded video footage. However, nothing is better than having the ability to experience that loved one in real life.

Please wear all black clothing.

I have learned there is something potentially worst than death. After a while, the absence of a loved one will inevitably have a numbing effect on one’s emotions. The inability to experience that person will soon soften the sting death has caused. Tears of sorrow will eventually be harder to come by due to the lack of reality the dead has to offer. They offer none because they are dead. What if that person were dead but still alive however? How is this possible?

Imagine coming home from school one day, and the mother that loved and cared for you for thirteen years of your life completely stopped having interest in you. Like a switch turned off in her head and all the emotions and concern she once had for you completely vanished. She maintained the same body, but she was a totally different person. Although she could speak to you and you could tell her your name, her love for you was nonexistent. You being to cry and weep because you miss your mom. She stares at you with a blank expression because all this is foreign to her. You beg for her to stop playing, hoping that she will break out in laughter and say, “I’m just joking!” That never happens. Each day you wake up and are visually reminded of your mother. She sounds and smells exactly the same as your mother. Her warm embrace feels how your mother’s would feel, yet you are again reminded that she is not your mother. She will never be. You will never be able to speak to your mother again as long as you live although you see her everyday. For the rest of your life, her figure will taunt you. But you know it’s not her…and you will just have to try to figure out some way to live in peace knowing that. I’d rather hold onto the memories my mother left with me before she entered the grave.

Excuse me though. I have arrived at the funeral, and your prayers will gladly be accepted.

“I Forgive You”

January 9, 2013 — 2 Comments

Disclaimer: This entry was written to be thought-provoking. Opinions are given. Religious view are used.

Lately, I have been haunted by the words “I forgive you.” Growing up I was always taught to forgive others when they wronged you. My religion exposed me to Bible verses such as Mark 11:25 which says, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Sermons about forgiveness were often preached at church. Forgiveness was not an option but rather a requirement. Moreover, of all the sins and vices the world struggled with, the least a person could do was forgive. Right? And I mean who wants to know their sins won’t be forgiven by God if they have not forgiven their neighbor? Forgiveness was a given. When I was younger I can even recall being forced to say “I forgive you” if one of my siblings apologized to me after doing something wrong. Because I was obedient I said what my parents wanted to hear, but that did not keep me from silently harboring the negative feelings I had. Early on in life, I noticed that little things would get to me very easily. In addition to being affected by these seemingly petty things, I would also internalize whatever bothered me. I became so accustomed to saying I forgive you out of habit that I could hold a grudge against someone while “forgiving” them. I mastered it. You probably did too.

You see, while everyone taught me that I should forgive they forgot to teach me how to forgive. Now that I am older and my life is more involved I have come to realize the importance of being able to forgive. Earlier today, I was browsing the internet in search of information on forgiveness. I would like to share one definition I found that stuck out to me. Mayo Clinic defines forgiveness as “a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.” Pretty simple. I also ran across two interesting quotes about forgiveness. “One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory” -Rita Mae Brown and “Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”-Unknown author

These two quotes immediately raised two thoughts in my head. 1. As humans, we are extremely selfish. 2. Not one person on this earth deserves peace. How could this be? I think it is obvious that humans are naturally self-centered. Some more than others. But how could no one deserve peace!? It’s easy to look at the second quote and say, “Whoaaa, this is AMAZING!” However, that again is a reminder of our selfish human nature. A person is hurt, and they want to move on with their life and get over a situation. So they “forgive” but with the attitude that the other person does not deserve their forgiveness but is “humbly” receiving it. The person doing the “forgiving” approaches the situation with a sense of entitlement. They forgive because THEY deserve peace. In reality, however, this person really deserves nothing. How could one deserve peace when they themselves have wronged others in the most unforgivable ways? How does a person deserve peace when they have stolen the peace and sanity of others? They don’t. None of us do.

Although the definition quoted earlier was a very simple one, it removed the self-centered focus out of forgiveness and replaced it with a selfless one. I would like to suggest that forgiveness is for more than one person. Forgiveness is for one’s self and for others. Since none of us deserve forgiveness or peace of mind, we all should agree. I believe the quote by Martin Luther King Jr, “forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude,” embodies the true meaning of forgiveness. Forgiveness does not stop after you forgive a person. Forgiveness is the attitude you have towards a person and life after you have been hurt. We should not forgive others just to say we have forgiven them or because we think we deserve peace.

“We should forgive because none of us deserve the freedom that comes with it.”-thepositivendeavour

Your Painted Black Thighs…

January 4, 2013 — 2 Comments

Disclaimer: Racial slurs are used.

Good job ladies I must say. Bravo. I have been moved to speak on the behalf of myself and all the other guys out there who are enjoying the sights you share with us. Honestly, we are truly grateful. I mean seriously. We no longer have to creep around our dorms trying to find something to stimulate our eyes. That will make any man self-conscious. In fact, you simulate our eyes and you stimulate our “prize” possession. Yea that was a confession. I am content with my size. I will be proper enough, however, to say thank you because I consider myself a gentleman.

It’s your painted black thighs that barely shield your black skin. No offense, but I’m not directing this to Caucasian women. I attend an HBCU. Forget the skinny jeans ladies! You see, we are different from our preceding generation. Our minds are a tad more twisted. Well actually a lot more twisted. Some where along the line the paradigm was shifted. We didn’t need to stumble across our father’s “secret stash” to pick up the addiction. All we needed was the Internet. If you think about it, it eliminated a lot of the hassle too. Obscene imagery was at our finger tips. Click. And that’s about it. Our lives were changed forever. I say all for the worst, and none for the better. But it’s whatever. At least it helped us get through puberty. My gosh we were so horny!

Please excuse me for drifting off topic. I was just trying to justify my…well our lustful eyes. It’s just your painted black thighs. They’re so amazing. I…well we can see basically everything. Huh? Umm…yea like we see all your goods moving. Ohhh. I have always taken pride in my integrity of mind, so can you please stop? And you may say, “Okay dude, it’s just fashion, now shut the hell up it’s not even that serious.” Fair enough, so would it be a problem for you to stop wearing it? “Why of course not, but I don’t see why that’s necessary.” Welll let’s just say because your tempting me. Your not concerned, however. You modest women. Your sooo classy. Side note: but some of you refer to your female friends as bitches. I’m just saying. Hold on. What did I just say? Modesty!? Psshhh, forget modest. I want all these niggas on me! Well that’s what your outfit said anyway. You just like to tease us and lead us into your trap. Then ZAP! “Girrllll that nigga wack!” That’s what you said after you lured him in and played hisss…yea. “Come on ladies, come on. Lets gather around and talk about who and who is thirsty.” Random chick: Humm…”Works for me!”

And it was all fun and games until you were approached by Him. Then you ended up getting played because of all the other visual simulations. He tells you, “I just wanted to enjoy God’s beautiful creation. Girl I’m only in college!” <;– I guess he didn't realize that when he asked you out. Gotcha. Now the tables are turned, and your left hurt and confused not knowing what to do. Girl get a clue. Keep doing what you've always done. Go entice some guy with your revealing clothing. My gosh, I was just joking! Now your on Instagram posting half-naked pictures of yourself?

I do apologize for the confession. It's just your painted black thighs look amazing…