Just Some Thoughts…

"While we are encompassed by a world of problems, it is our responsibility to decide how we react." -thepositivendeavour

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The Greater Scheme

January 15, 2013 — 4 Comments

Disclaimer: Open your mind.

I have been told before that I think too much. This may be true. Most people would consider over thinking a bad thing. I have always seen it as something to look down upon, but lately I have begun to reconsider. Why? Because I kinda get a high off the introspection of myself and my life. Why? Ohh well because I feel somewhat optimistic about my future. Why? Gosh, because I think I am finally realizing that God has purposed for me to do something special in this life just as He has every other human being on this earth. Cliché?

Think about it. When was the last time you sat down and looked at yourself in the mirror then looked outside and asked yourself the question, “How many of me are there?” If you really have to contemplate this question that is a good thing. However, if you are honest with yourself and can name a plethora of others just like you, then maybe you should consider how true you are being to yourself. I’m not saying that everyone was put on this earth to be a unique individual, but there is something unique about every human being. Find it, and expose it.

When I’m alone, and even sometimes when I am around people, I have a tendency to fall into deep thought. I have become pretty good at making my “trances” unnoticeable, but best believe that something is always going on inside my head. I was ironing and washing last night, and I began to become fatigued because it was so late. I wanted to just stop, jump in my bed, and finish what I was doing in the morning. Then I started to think about “the greater scheme” of things. I was ironing because I wanted to be prepared for an interview I had the next day. I wanted to do this the night before the interview because I didn’t want to risk not being prepared for the interview. I couldn’t risk not being prepared because I needed the job. I needed the job because I need money. I need money because I need equipment. I need equipment for some of the personal projects I am working on. Once I begin to consecutively complete theses projects I will be on my way to achieving some of my life goals. If I achieve what it is I feel I was placed on this earth to do, then in my latter years of life I will not have to say “I wish I did…”

Do you see the thought that can come from just ironing and washing a couple of clothes for an interview? I know this may seem like a bit much for the average thinker, but I feel that is how we have to treat life sometimes. The little things we do now will lead up to the greater scheme of life. No one just hits an age in which everything just comes together for them. It starts now. The next time you are tempted to half-step a seemingly frivolous task just remember you are working towards your future with the little tasks you are completing now.

Blessings.

Wreaking Havoc

January 14, 2013

Disclaimer: I do not intend to push my religion or beliefs on anyone who reads the entry. There may be lighthearted moments in this entry and exaggerations may be used, but I truly believe this is a pressing matter.

I have the privilege of having a job, and I am grateful for that. Along with having this job, I benefit because I do a lot of shopping at store I work at. I generally enjoy the work I do, but like any job there are a few things that get to me. I came into to work one day feeling very jolly. I would like to think that I am a cheerful person for the most part, but this was just a really good day. I only had to work a four hour shift that day, and two of my favorite managers to work with were scheduled on my shift. I clocked in, then proceeded to empty my bladder before making my way onto the sales floor. The feeling I got while leaving the bathroom was amazing. My steps felt so light as if I were walking on cotton balls. Well maybe that’s a bit much, but I did do my Johnny Depp walk right up to the cash wrap (I would be glad to demonstrate it if ya ask me) and immediately started working on go-backs. I was surprised to see the condition the store was in because usually by the afternoon it was wayyy below “brand standards” aka an utter mess.

After I finished with the go-backs, I began making my way around the store, perfect-folding any disturbed clothing back to brand standard. I felt good knowing that I was nearly finished making one of the women’s sale tables nice and “pertty” as my general manager would say. Any sales associate knows that it is rare for a store to need little recovery after a long day of sales. However, if this happened to be the case, then work would be fairly easy that day. The only thing the sales associate would really need to worry about was good costumer service, and that was no problem for me because I was THE MAN when it came to costumer service. At least I thought I was.

You see, while I was doing my thing I spotted this one lady coming into the store on her cellphone. I didn’t really bother to tell her about our promotions that day due to my prior experiences with trying to talk to ladies while they were in the middle of a captivating phone conversation. So I just glanced at her hoping to make eye contact so I could at least acknowledge her. I probably wasn’t as interesting as the conversation she was holding because she never looked at me. She just made her way into the store, and what she began to do next nearly brought tears to my eyes. In a matter of seconds, she began to tear apart all the hours of recovery me and my fellow sales associates had put into perfect-folding all the clothing. The worst part of it all was that I was the only sales associate on the floor at the time, so I would be responsible for the recovery that needed to be done after this lady left the store. Tears began to roll down my face as I saw multiple perfectly-folded jeans and shirts fly across the store.

In the midst of my distress, however, a thought popped into my head. I constantly did the exact same thing this lady was guilty of. I mean I’m sure I have done this in plenty of other stores, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Just as this lady was destroying what I had patiently worked on, I often go about destroying all the work and effort my Creator has put into me. Whether it is through a bad habit or various other sinful indulgences, I am guilty of destroying much of the work my Creator has done on me. Nonetheless, unlike the sales associates who is reluctant to fix the damage that has been done, God is patiently waiting to take me back and fix me up.

What am I waiting for? What are you waiting for?

I Have A Funeral To Attend…

January 13, 2013

Disclaimer: These are my thoughts and opinions. Figurative language is used.

Most people have experienced the sting of death to some extent. It have may ranged from the death of a well known church member to the death of a parent/guardian. In both cases, however, the deceased person is no longer living. Their influence on the world and others no longer exists. Their words cease to exist, and people can only hold onto what they once said. Their presence is no longer felt by others, and they are no longer seen.

So I have a funeral to attend…

A couple years ago, one of my immediate family members passed away. This was the only “death” of a person close to my heart that I had experienced at the time. I was unsure how to handle death. I didn’t know how to treat it. The sting of death constantly visited me in the months that followed, yet as time passed, something was revealed to me. Death was painful because it permanently robbed the senses of the family and friends closest to that person. When someone died they couldn’t be seen, touched, smelled, tasted, or heard without the use of an artificial medium. With modern technology, a person can look at pictures of the deceased or even hear and see them via recorded video footage. However, nothing is better than having the ability to experience that loved one in real life.

Please wear all black clothing.

I have learned there is something potentially worst than death. After a while, the absence of a loved one will inevitably have a numbing effect on one’s emotions. The inability to experience that person will soon soften the sting death has caused. Tears of sorrow will eventually be harder to come by due to the lack of reality the dead has to offer. They offer none because they are dead. What if that person were dead but still alive however? How is this possible?

Imagine coming home from school one day, and the mother that loved and cared for you for thirteen years of your life completely stopped having interest in you. Like a switch turned off in her head and all the emotions and concern she once had for you completely vanished. She maintained the same body, but she was a totally different person. Although she could speak to you and you could tell her your name, her love for you was nonexistent. You being to cry and weep because you miss your mom. She stares at you with a blank expression because all this is foreign to her. You beg for her to stop playing, hoping that she will break out in laughter and say, “I’m just joking!” That never happens. Each day you wake up and are visually reminded of your mother. She sounds and smells exactly the same as your mother. Her warm embrace feels how your mother’s would feel, yet you are again reminded that she is not your mother. She will never be. You will never be able to speak to your mother again as long as you live although you see her everyday. For the rest of your life, her figure will taunt you. But you know it’s not her…and you will just have to try to figure out some way to live in peace knowing that. I’d rather hold onto the memories my mother left with me before she entered the grave.

Excuse me though. I have arrived at the funeral, and your prayers will gladly be accepted.

“I Forgive You”

January 9, 2013 — 2 Comments

Disclaimer: This entry was written to be thought-provoking. Opinions are given. Religious view are used.

Lately, I have been haunted by the words “I forgive you.” Growing up I was always taught to forgive others when they wronged you. My religion exposed me to Bible verses such as Mark 11:25 which says, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Sermons about forgiveness were often preached at church. Forgiveness was not an option but rather a requirement. Moreover, of all the sins and vices the world struggled with, the least a person could do was forgive. Right? And I mean who wants to know their sins won’t be forgiven by God if they have not forgiven their neighbor? Forgiveness was a given. When I was younger I can even recall being forced to say “I forgive you” if one of my siblings apologized to me after doing something wrong. Because I was obedient I said what my parents wanted to hear, but that did not keep me from silently harboring the negative feelings I had. Early on in life, I noticed that little things would get to me very easily. In addition to being affected by these seemingly petty things, I would also internalize whatever bothered me. I became so accustomed to saying I forgive you out of habit that I could hold a grudge against someone while “forgiving” them. I mastered it. You probably did too.

You see, while everyone taught me that I should forgive they forgot to teach me how to forgive. Now that I am older and my life is more involved I have come to realize the importance of being able to forgive. Earlier today, I was browsing the internet in search of information on forgiveness. I would like to share one definition I found that stuck out to me. Mayo Clinic defines forgiveness as “a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.” Pretty simple. I also ran across two interesting quotes about forgiveness. “One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory” -Rita Mae Brown and “Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”-Unknown author

These two quotes immediately raised two thoughts in my head. 1. As humans, we are extremely selfish. 2. Not one person on this earth deserves peace. How could this be? I think it is obvious that humans are naturally self-centered. Some more than others. But how could no one deserve peace!? It’s easy to look at the second quote and say, “Whoaaa, this is AMAZING!” However, that again is a reminder of our selfish human nature. A person is hurt, and they want to move on with their life and get over a situation. So they “forgive” but with the attitude that the other person does not deserve their forgiveness but is “humbly” receiving it. The person doing the “forgiving” approaches the situation with a sense of entitlement. They forgive because THEY deserve peace. In reality, however, this person really deserves nothing. How could one deserve peace when they themselves have wronged others in the most unforgivable ways? How does a person deserve peace when they have stolen the peace and sanity of others? They don’t. None of us do.

Although the definition quoted earlier was a very simple one, it removed the self-centered focus out of forgiveness and replaced it with a selfless one. I would like to suggest that forgiveness is for more than one person. Forgiveness is for one’s self and for others. Since none of us deserve forgiveness or peace of mind, we all should agree. I believe the quote by Martin Luther King Jr, “forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude,” embodies the true meaning of forgiveness. Forgiveness does not stop after you forgive a person. Forgiveness is the attitude you have towards a person and life after you have been hurt. We should not forgive others just to say we have forgiven them or because we think we deserve peace.

“We should forgive because none of us deserve the freedom that comes with it.”-thepositivendeavour

Your Painted Black Thighs…

January 4, 2013 — 2 Comments

Disclaimer: Racial slurs are used.

Good job ladies I must say. Bravo. I have been moved to speak on the behalf of myself and all the other guys out there who are enjoying the sights you share with us. Honestly, we are truly grateful. I mean seriously. We no longer have to creep around our dorms trying to find something to stimulate our eyes. That will make any man self-conscious. In fact, you simulate our eyes and you stimulate our “prize” possession. Yea that was a confession. I am content with my size. I will be proper enough, however, to say thank you because I consider myself a gentleman.

It’s your painted black thighs that barely shield your black skin. No offense, but I’m not directing this to Caucasian women. I attend an HBCU. Forget the skinny jeans ladies! You see, we are different from our preceding generation. Our minds are a tad more twisted. Well actually a lot more twisted. Some where along the line the paradigm was shifted. We didn’t need to stumble across our father’s “secret stash” to pick up the addiction. All we needed was the Internet. If you think about it, it eliminated a lot of the hassle too. Obscene imagery was at our finger tips. Click. And that’s about it. Our lives were changed forever. I say all for the worst, and none for the better. But it’s whatever. At least it helped us get through puberty. My gosh we were so horny!

Please excuse me for drifting off topic. I was just trying to justify my…well our lustful eyes. It’s just your painted black thighs. They’re so amazing. I…well we can see basically everything. Huh? Umm…yea like we see all your goods moving. Ohhh. I have always taken pride in my integrity of mind, so can you please stop? And you may say, “Okay dude, it’s just fashion, now shut the hell up it’s not even that serious.” Fair enough, so would it be a problem for you to stop wearing it? “Why of course not, but I don’t see why that’s necessary.” Welll let’s just say because your tempting me. Your not concerned, however. You modest women. Your sooo classy. Side note: but some of you refer to your female friends as bitches. I’m just saying. Hold on. What did I just say? Modesty!? Psshhh, forget modest. I want all these niggas on me! Well that’s what your outfit said anyway. You just like to tease us and lead us into your trap. Then ZAP! “Girrllll that nigga wack!” That’s what you said after you lured him in and played hisss…yea. “Come on ladies, come on. Lets gather around and talk about who and who is thirsty.” Random chick: Humm…”Works for me!”

And it was all fun and games until you were approached by Him. Then you ended up getting played because of all the other visual simulations. He tells you, “I just wanted to enjoy God’s beautiful creation. Girl I’m only in college!” <;– I guess he didn't realize that when he asked you out. Gotcha. Now the tables are turned, and your left hurt and confused not knowing what to do. Girl get a clue. Keep doing what you've always done. Go entice some guy with your revealing clothing. My gosh, I was just joking! Now your on Instagram posting half-naked pictures of yourself?

I do apologize for the confession. It's just your painted black thighs look amazing…

All You Need Is Monday…

January 2, 2013

Disclaimer: I am not opposed to any of the practices of bringing in the the New Year. All I wish to do is offer a different perspective. Disclaimers from other entries still apply.

These bloody New Year resolutions! Okay, okay hold on. Before you stop reading this entry just hear me out. I was you last year. I participated in all the rituals of bringing in the New Year. I made the list of things I would accomplish in 2012, and 2011,and 2010, and so on. I confessed all my faults from the previous year and even gave myself little pats on the romp when I began steer off course. I also became very discouraged after realizing that no more than 3 months into the year I had already begun to stray away from the resolutions I made.

I’d feel really bad knowing that I squandered my opportunity to accomplish and do things differently than I did in the previous year. I still indulged in habits I said I would stop, and I did not even begin to conquer all the undertakings I had assigned for myself. Years would go by, and I really didn’t see much changing. So your probably thinking, “Where is he going with all this?” Is he trying to stop me from making my frivolous New Year resolutions!? Well yes, that is exactly what I’m trying to do. No, no definitely joking *insidious laugh*. Stay with me.

It may just be me, but take a minute to reflect on all the resolutions you have made in the past few years. Hats off to the exceptional few who even remember what they are much less stuck with them. Now take another minute to recognize how many of those resolutions you discontinued before the year was half way over. Take this last minute to cry because you failed at every one of these tasks. It’s okay let it out. Here’s a napkin. Now you need to dry your wet eyes and ask yourself a couple questions. What went wrong each year? Why do I find myself making the same New Year resolutions every year? When will I accomplish the resolutions I have made for myself? How can I be more dedicated and consistent?

Brothers and sister I have come to tell you that it’s okay to ask yourself these questions. Just don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m no psychologist, but I will suggest that there is a psychology behind all this. I’m not sure if it’s because I have a job now, but I am just really realizing that New Years is an actual holiday. Some people attend special church services to bring in the New Year. Some people go to the livest parties. Whichever you decided to do I think we can all agree that New Years is a big deal. The former things in your life are passed away. You finally get the chance to have a new start! Right? Not so. By no means am I saying that a new year cannot symbolize a fresh start; however, this is not the only time you can create or your renew resolutions.

All you need is Monday… Happy New Years.

Those Slum Days

December 29, 2012 — 5 Comments

Disclaimer: This entry was written with the hope of encouraging someone. This entry was written to encourage myself.

“While we are encompassed by a world of problems, it is our responsibility to decide how we react.” -thepositivendeavour

Although science proves that some people have chemical imbalances that give them a greater disposition to feel down, we all have had a “slum day” in our life. I have noticed a number of things that have had the ability to dampen my mood. It could be something as simple as a gloomy day or an unprecedented wave of guilt. So when I got to college I purposed to do two things. Create a pleasurable environment via the people I surrounded myself with and the activities I indulged in, and meet as many people as I could. I basically did this for the first couple of weeks until I got into a relationship. I noticed that I began to segregated myself from others and that I was going in the opposite direction from which I intended.

When my relationship came to an end I was pretty bummed because not only did I experience an unbearable sense of loneliness, but I also felt as if I would never be able to mend some of the relationships I sabotaged. This was partially true. However, I’m glad things played out the way they did. You see, the high school I attended was very small. I had a group of buddies I used to hang out with all the time. We even had a name for ourselves (League Of Extraordinary Freshness or L.O.E.F) and had people asking what they could do to get in our group. I would not be hesitant to say we were pretty cool. What my experience in college revealed to me, however, was that for most of my life I fed off others to feel confident about myself. I know this to be true because when I got to college, and realized that the structure of it did not promote me to be constantly surrounded by people, I felt lost. I was confused about the person I was when all of my “support” was stripped away from me. I wanted to meet as many people as I could not necessarily because I cared so much about these people but because I wanted the security of knowing that I was known. I wanted to be popular.

My desire to have others fuel my confidence became very stressful especially since I spent the majority of my time with one person. After my relationship ended, I ran to others for confidence. I got into another relationship for constant support. I fought to fix my situation until one day I realized the problem. Time would pass, and my situations would eventually fade away, but nothing would really change until I solved the problem with me. I began to wonder how I could possible acquire enough confidence within myself to live for myself. I wondered how it would feel to live outside of the jurisdiction of other’s opinions or views about me. I wondered how it would feel to be unmoved by the way others perceived me. I wondered how it would feel to live freely.

Truth is, I am still on my journey to discovering all of this. I have my slum days, and I often get discouraged. But when I am faced with these discouragements I try to remember that “while we are encompassed by a world of problems, it is our responsibility to decide how we react.”

Stay safe, and stay encouraged my friends.

A Virtual Solace pt 2: The Exposure

December 20, 2012

Disclaimer: Because this is my blog, I unfortunately have to speak for all those who are too afraid or unwilling to admit what social networks have done to them. Not everything in this article will be applicable to everyone who uses these social networks. EXAGGERATIONS MAY BE USED. Brace yourselves.

I was truly disturbed at some of the symptoms I observed from my fellow school mates who had adopted the practice of using this social network. When I looked around I saw masses of matured stalkers and fiends of every kind. The sight was quite repulsive. In fact, it was just plain nasty. Yuck. How could my mates let themselves be subjected to the transforming power of this social network? Sadly, I remained silent for about a year after all this had been revealed to me. By this time, hi5 had mostly died down, but a new social network was emerging out of the cracks. It called itself Facebook. I had, had enough. I could not bear to watch again as these sick ‘patients’ ran to another social network that would inevitably destroy their lives. They needed help. They needed a diagnosis…they needed me.

It was 2006, and I would soon be starting my last year of middle school. I was a pretty quite kid throughout middle school, but now I was an eighth grader. I knew I had to speak up before it was too late. One particular morning of my eighth grade year I came to school extremely tired. The previous night I had stayed up late working on a proposal to counteract the madness that social networks had inflicted upon my friends. I felt like Moses, and that day I was going to save my people. Little did I know that, that day MY life would change forever. You see, on my quest to do good I ran into a problem. A straight rascal rather. His name was…sikeeee…I won’t say his name. Anyway, he must have sensed my ability to do greatness based on the information he decided to ‘share’ with me that day.

Before I carry on, I just want to take a second to tell any youngsters reading this entry that the content I am about to discuss is not suitable for you! If you continue to read, however, I will take a guess and say you will experience trouble in your latter life. Fair enough? Okay.

Recess break: “Psssst. Ova here bro. Yea, this way.” Umm…yea dude why are you being so secretive? “I gotta show you something.” Okayy, whats up? “I just found a way to get around the school’s internet filter.” When I heard that I probably should have ran away from this guy, but my curiosity got the best of me. After all, not every kid experienced the heavy internet restrictions that I did at the time. Dude those filters were designed by people way older, smarter, and more experienced than us. I’m sure it’s not that easy. ” Yea, yea I know, but I was able to figured it out.” At this point, I had already urinated on myself due to the silent anticipation I was holding in. Crap. Okayy, so I mean what’s the secret then. “It called a…a…it’s called a proxy server. Ninja Cloak to be exact.” Done.

Facebook: From that point on, my life was never the same. For those of you who don’t know what a proxy server is, it’s basically another computer that serves as a hub in which your internet searches can be processed. Internet filters become negligible. I made a Facebook page shortly after he told me about this proxy and have lived in ruins ever since. I was a happy lil fella when I found out I was able to get around the internet filter at my house. I was finally able to experience the same ‘joys’ of social networking that all the other kids had experienced. Over the years, I have watched as the number of my Facebook friends have increased. I have also watched others silently from my computer screen. Most of these people I barely know or seldomly talk to, but they are still my Facebook friends. I have been on random girls pages, perusing through their photos because I thought they were cute or stopping to check on their relationship status. I have watched the hell out of my ex girlfriend’s pages making sure they weren’t “acting up”, and I have done a lot of other things. You have too.

Tumblr: A little more than a year ago my brother introduced me to a site called Tumblr. At the time, I really couldn’t understand why people were so fascinated by a blogging website. I figured out a couple months later when I made one. There were a couple of strange things I noticed when I used my Tumblr however. The main thing was that people were able to post a variety of content with little to no censoring. I did not want to be exposed to all the nudity and obscene content this site had to offer, so I found myself a “Tumblr culture” that suited my fancy. It was the fashion culture. I had always been interested in fashion, but this site seemed to take my interest to the next level. I started feeling as if I had to constantly dress up to live up to the ” fashion culture” this blog presented to me. One day my roommate and I even made confessions to each other about how this social network had influenced us to live our daily lives, but maybe we were insane. Nonetheless, I noticed many other cultures on Tumblr such as the “sex culture”, the “artsy/artisan culture”, and the “stoner culture” . Of all these cultures, however, I discovered the most captivating one. The “love culture”. Minds everywhere were being clouded with the ‘perfect paradigm’ of a relationship based on quotes and visually flawless couples in the background to back them up. The true foundations on which a relationship stood were embellished by appearances. Accordingly, the leniency toward mistakes in this “picture perfect” relationship was severely lessened. Because Tumblr said that when you meet that perfect person they would naturally inspire you and you them. Then you would undoubtedly have love, and If it didn’t work that way then the relationship was a mere lesson.

Instagram: Sometime last year I was looking for a cool app in which I could edit my pictures to put on Tumblr. I found this app called Instagram. One day, when I was about to edit my pictures, I noticed a little box that said I had 5 followers. The rest is history. I can’t tell you how many of my mornings begin like this: wake up, smell my breath, run to the bathroom to brush my teeth, have my devotion, then check my updates on Instagram. I am still perplexed at how pictures with captions can be so intriguing. Anyhow, I don’t consider myself to be an outgoing person, but I do enjoy meeting new people. I can recall a handful of times in which I actually ‘knew’ a person before I meet them. The conversations would go something like this. “Hey, what’s your name.” “Maria,…” No. Stop it. I was on this chicks page like earlier this morning . Like how do I do that? Besides all the creeping that I do/did on Instagram, my self-esteem is/was constantly on the line. Why? Because of the unspoken “followers to following” rule. The amount of followers you have must exceed the amount of people you are following. The larger the gap, the cooler you are. This really became clear to me when some of the people I called my friends refused to follow me back after I followed them! I don’t know how many times I have unfollowed people when I realized they didn’t follow me back. It happened today actually. Hell yea. Cause I’m sitting here thinking, “Dudeee, you have like a 400 to 200 (2:1) ratio of followers to following. I did not follow you because I was amazed at the quality pictures posted. I just wanted another follower. Like help me out man.” But nahh, no one could think about it that much. Their probably just not interested in the stuff I am posting. It’s just me. Oh, shout out all of my people who’s ratio resembles more of a 300 to 600 (1:2) ratio of followers to following. I admire you guys, honestly, but I’m to self-conscious for all that nonsense. And by the way, if I (you) see my old girl take a picture with some random dude…ohh please believe I’m Sherlock. There will be an investigation.

Twitter: I never could bring myself to register for a twitter, but I could remember desperately wanting to know what my ex or ex’s (not saying names) tweeted about me. Well at least I thought they were tweeting about me because I just knew I was that important. I would always hear about all the controversy that started over twitter, but I never was directly affected by anything that went on, on there. Until one day. Most of my good friends know that I like to joke around a lot. I will ramble. I will burp extremely loud. I will even pop that thang if ya need me. But you will never hear me fart. That’s that **** I don’t like! My family members won’t hear me do it. My girlfriends/friends won’t hear me do it. My lizard won’t hear me do it. Got dang I won’t hear me do it. But one day one of my boys caught me off guard. I was in an unconscious state…aka sleeping. I must have let one rip because when I was “observing” people’s twitters one day I happened to run across one of his tweets. “That awkward moment when your friend farts in his sleep.” My gosh, really?

I’m a much different person than I was years ago, but you are too. I may be a stalker, but you are a fiend. Actually your both. Many years ago I had a chance to save many people. I had a chance to save you. Sorry I waited until now.

Interlude: Sexy! With tears flowing…

December 18, 2012 — 2 Comments

Disclaimer: This entry has no relation to “A Virtual Solace pt 1: Social Networks.” It is merely an expression of gratitude and a proclamation how fortunate I am. EXAGGERATIONS MAY BE USED. Count your blessings.

I was awakened this morning and presented with the perfect set up to have a bad day. While I was still half asleep, I began to be reprimanded for not doing the dishes the earlier night, I was given a packet full of make-up work from this previous semester that I still need to complete, and worst of all I was reminded that Listerine’s 24-hour protection formula would not be the cure for my morning breath. I just didn’t see any ‘light’ coming from the day. Nonetheless, I proceeded to get out of bed and have my devotion. After I finished up with that, I went into my bathroom to do my thing. Years ago one of my aunts revealed to me how unsanitary and disgusting it was to wake up and have breakfast before brushing my teeth, so ever since then I have gotten into the habit of brushing and flossing before leaving my room in the morning.

I was in the bathroom, and although I knew it was a pretty beautiful day outside, I felt as if the sun’s rays had purposed not to show me any favor. Just when I thought things couldn’t get worst I got a call from my mom about some obligations I had for the day while I was in the middle of a session with my Philips Sonicare toothbrush. Great toothbrush by the way. Anyway, I was determined to keep up the whole positive/optimism tip I had been working off of for the past few days. So I rushed back into my bathroom said, “I will feel the sun’s embrace and witness today’s beauty!” I then tore open the blinds in my bathroom. What I saw in my driveway nearly had me gasping for air. It was my dream to have, my ideal ride, practically my baby, but it was still my…my grandpa’s car.

I immediately called my mom and said, “Mo…Mom did you see what is in the drive way?!” She must have picked up on the anxiousness and utter excitement in my voice judging by her somewhat abrasive response. “Bakari, no! No, your father said the car still needs to be taken back to the shop for some work…..blah blah blah.” I was unmoved by her statements however. The only thing that registered into my head was, “Sexy!” And with tears flowing down my face, a quote by G.K Chesterton popped into my head. “There is one thing which gives radiance to everything. It is the idea of something around the corner.” Yes, I fully experienced this radiance because ideas were streaming through my head. Maybe I would enjoy a night out on the town or go find some trouble to get into now that my medium of transportation was back in my possession.

You see, a couple weeks ago when I was returning home from some mischief, I got into…umm…yea I got into a little accident. For some reason the whole drive seemed to be full of “close calls” if you catch my drift, but when I was about 2 minutes from reaching my house…BAM! But I can’t be totally blamed for the accident. After all, the woman could have swerved out of the unmoving traffic if she noticed I was about rear end her. Use your rear view mirror people!

As of now, I am unsure if I will actually be allowed to drive my grandpa’s car again, but the fact that it smiles at me from my driveway gives me a great sense of hope. That is how we have to look at life sometimes. It reminds me of a quote I came across a while ago that states,“When you feel like giving up,remember why you held on for so long in the first place.” -Unknown source. I know it may seem like a shift in moods, but I had a purpose behind writing all this. We all have something that drives us although that “thing” may sometimes seem abstract. It may be a hobby, an aspiration, a relationship, a religion, a death, a future career, a child, a parent/grandparent, or even a pet lizard. You get the point. And for those who honestly don’t have something that keeps them going…umm…I am praying for you brother/sister. Stay safe. Nevertheless, always remember that in the event of your “permanent absence”, aka death, you will be missed by someone.

So take a second to appreciate that person, thing, or both that has you screaming, “Sexy!” while tears of joy roll down your beautiful faces. Stay encouraged my friends.