“I Love You”

February 2, 2014

Silent repeating to myself things like, “I’m not sentimental”, but I know I will be resentful when you are no longer here. I can recall the days when hair grasped the front of your forehead’s and black strands were spread everywhere. Time changes things. And I don’t know the pains of labour, but I figure my feeble body was the savior which made it all worth it. My minor complications didn’t make a difference. I know you still luud me…luhhhd me…lovv’d me…umm yea you know what I am trying to say. Yea, yea you know what I am trying to say, so I won’t even bother saying it. And even if you don’t I’d probably be horrible at relaying it, so I won’t even bother. I’ll just leave all that mushy stuff for some girl I like. I’ll just fight the feeling of saying I love you. That is only used for special occasions. It’s just odd that the most I can bring myself to do is hug you. It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that I am not used to this. I’m not used to feeling like life is moving so quick. I thought I would be a teenager forever. I’m not used to wishing we could all stick together as I take each stride through life. For I fear that my steps will outnumber yours. Cause I know the Bible says something about three score and ten, but I don’t want to be left on this earth an orphan. Because if you die before I, I might be stuck teary-eyed with a wife that doesn’t even know how to sympathize. That’s negative thinking however. Let me dry my eyes and play the part of a stereotypical guy. We don’t cry, but I am just surprised I couldn’t bring myself to give you guys more than a hug when you were alive. I’d always envy when other people would call you guys their best friends. I really appreciated everything you all did for me, but it’s just I never really expressed it to it’s full extent. Now I am stuck sharing my thoughts with memories of you…. R.I.P Mom and Dad. Stop. Rewind. I really love you guys.